PROVERB 249

Except From :                A discussion of 250 Deep Yoruba (African)  Proverbs

by

Alaba J. Babalola

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PROVERB 249

It is the back of another person's head that one can see. It is another person that can see one's own.

TEASER THOUGHTS

I'm looking at the man in the mirror. I'm telling him to change his ways, because no one is perfect. If you want something done better, do it yourself before blaming others. Change begins with me and you.

YORUBA ROOTS

Ìpàkọ́ onípàkọ́ làá rí, ẹniẹ́lẹni níí rí t'ẹni.

 

E.XPLANATION / MEANING

Unless you use a mirror it is not possible for your eyes to see the back of your head. Try it and see! But you can see the back of someone else's head without much trouble. You don't need a mirror for that. The proverb is about the ease with which we tend to focus on the conduct or affairs of other people in order to point out their shortcomings, and blame them for the awkward and unfavorable condition of things in our environment. We often forget that we are part of the society to which those others belong. We forget that we too are sometimes not perfect in our conduct, and some of the things we do contribute somehow to the awkward state of our environment. We are not willing to check ourselves because we assume that we are innocent or less guilty as others who seem to derive greater benefit from the system. We forget that only if we are reasonably blameless can we encourage others to do the right things. We forget that we have less right to complain about others doing wrong unless we too have fixed our own shortcomings. 

The wisdom in the proverb is the need to know that while we are looking at the back of someone else's head, there are countless others in our environment who are quietly looking at the back of our own head. When they look at the back of our head, what do they see? Do they see something that could encourage them to change their ways and attitudes for the better?

MORE

The message here is for everyone everywhere there is need for people to work for a better life or a peaceful environment. Positive change can only come about if all concerned are geared to achieving it. Everyone should perhaps be handy with a mirror with which they can monitor the back of their heads to make sure the hair there has not grown out of shape! To grow out of shape is to have inadvertently allowed negative activities in our conduct that would not only jeopardize the change we are looking for, but also influence others to chart the wrong course. 

More specifically, as an example we can talk about a modern democratic nation experiencing economic and political problems caused obviously through indiscipline and impropriety of her citizens who blame one another as individuals and as groups for these setbacks. Even at the point of trying to revamp the system, everyone continues in their destructive ways as they blame other people. The only way out is for everyone - leaders, followers, government officials and citizens to examine themselves and ensure that they are not part of the people holding up or slowing the progress of the nation down. They should be mindful of the fact that they are role models for other people somewhere in the system, and that good conduct is contagious, just as bad conduct.

DEFINITIONS

Ipakọ - Occiput (N), or back of the head or skull.

Onipakọ - Someone else's occiput (N),or the back of someone else's head.

Laa - Is what we - Laa - ni (is what), a - A contraction of Awa (We).

Ri - To see (V), or to find - The former is more appropriate here. 

Ẹniẹlẹni - Someone else (N), or another person - completely separate person.

Nii - Is the one (V), or is.

Ti - That (ADJ), or that of - as abbreviated in "t'eni".

Ẹni - Oneself - as a person (N), or a person - in general.